Hells Kitchen
2 August 2005If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
I really wondered how they were going to fill two hours of reality TV when I turned on the Hells Kitchen finale expecting to be bored stiff by fluff and filler. Surprisingly it rolled along with hardly a dead spot and other than the staged dramatic buildups that inevitably ended in a commercial I thought the 120-minutes were nicely staged. I noticed how much older than 38 Master Chef Ramsey looked and thought his demeanor would be well suited as a M-1 Abrams tank squadron commander…he really is a culinary equivalent of George two gun Patton.
General Patton once said, An army run without profanity couldnt fight its way out of a pissed-soaked bag and that approach apparently, is how three star Michelin Guide restaurants need be run. Personally, I would have passed on moving to London for more abuse, as the young winner Michael chose to do. I had hoped that upon his acceptance of Ramseys offer the second place finisher, Ralph, would have been offered the now-vacated new restaurant. I am told that the American version of the British original, Kitchen Nightmare is tame by comparison I cannot imagine.
It seems the only unpredictable TV nowadays is reality TV. As in the music world, the corporate stranglehold has resulted in really, really bad dramas and sitcoms. The new shows are (pick one) totally predictable, safe, unfunny, gross, priggish or homogenized into nothingness. The new shows veer madly between the extremes: PC safe-as-milk moralistic fairy tales or crass potty humor interspersed with inappropriate vulgarity and sexuality meant to shock that is not sexy.
I am watching a reality show on Bravo (I think) about the development of comedy sitcoms from conception to actually appearing on the tube and it is apparent that the group-think process is the enemy of creativity. Something funny and creative catches the eye of the 1st layer of the corporate scouting system. It is then passed up to a three person group and if it passes muster at this level gets sent to a still larger and more powerful committee. This group then tells the creators how to reshape the initial ideas and once satisfied with the product the ultimate single decision maker (division head) is called down from Mount Olympus to offer his criticism.
Watch the trained corporate yes-men monkeys nod their heads like bobble-dolls at whatever wisdom the Big Man dispenses in a retarded echo chamber. Watch as the artists quake in their boots, ready, willing and able to prostitute the product in any way in order to get it on the tube. By process end, any spark of quirkiness, originality, spontaneity or originality has been beaten out of the product like my old grandmother used to beat carpets hung over a clothesline.
Only in reality TV can something unique slip through even here they try and trick us with fake reality shows. (Seen Princes of Malibu?) In music it is even worse as dim witted vocalists that focus groups find have a high likeability quotient are teamed with Scandinavian songwriters who churn out cultural rip-offs of American music before being rushed into recording sessions with soulless studio musicians to create bright, shiny perfect renditions of putrid pabulum. Keith Richard could not get past the 1st level of corporate control ditto Dylan or Cobain. It seems the garage rockers are taking a rip van winkle collective siesta and the Indie film makers have been rendered impotent. Groupthink lockstep results in homogenized garbage that makes even lame reality TV seem fresh and vibrant by comparison and you thought I was going to talk fitness.
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