Bunkhouse Logic: some things need periodic resurrection
6 March 2006If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
“A bumblebee is faster than a John Deere tractor.’
Maybe it´s all the Brokeback Mountain jokes going round…something compelled me to rifle through my archives and locate these timeless retro cowboy commandments. Some are funny, some are downright profound and all are worthy of retelling. “Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.’ Frankly that to me is profound as a Zen parable related by the Dogen Zenji, the 1st Zen patriarch, back in 1300.
My eternal thanks to country cousin Zebulon John for finding these country-fried gems and passing them along to me a year back. We love John so much that Kirk Karwoski and I are taking a road trip down to North Carolina to visit John Boy in the next few weeks. John is the national powerlifting champion for his weight and age group. He built a building outback his house and wired it for electricity, air conditioned it and turned the whole thing into an Iron Temple. His shed gym is stuffed to the rafters with exercise equipment and his powerful stereo is dedicated to the Blues – with a strong emphasis on the music of guitar virtuoso Roy Buchanan.
The combination of Old School Purposefully Primitive exercise, Roy´s Fender virtuosity and John Boy´s single-minded dedication to purpose make for an unbeatable combination. His Steel Hut is a literal iron oasis. If he had a kitchen, a commode and an army cot he could sell the main house. People like John are the reason we run this website and I´ll provide a full field report on what promises to be the fine road trip. Kirk could show Belushi/Blutoski a thing or two about aggressive lifestyles, but I´m no Flounder and this road trip will not include handguns, monster trucks, Captain Morgan or strippers.
COWBOY WISDOM
*Don’t name a pig you plan to eat.
*Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.
*Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
*Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
*Life is simpler when you plough around the stump.
*A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
*Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
*Meanness don’t happen overnight.
*Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
*Don’t sell your mule to buy a plough.
*Don’t corner something meaner than you.
*It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
*You can’t unsay a cruel thing.
*Every path has some puddles.
*When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
*The best sermons are lived, not preached.
*Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.
*Don’t squat with your spurs on.
*Don’t judge people by their relatives.
*Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
*Live a honorable life. When you get older and think back you’ll enjoy it a second time.
*Don’t interfere with something that ain’t botherin’ you none.
*Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
*It’s better to be a has-been than a never-was.
*The easiest way to eat crow is while it’s still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
*If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
*If it don’t seem like it’s worth the effort, it probably ain’t.
*It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
*Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.
*The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror.
*If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
*Don’t worry about bitin’ off more’n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think.
*Only cows know why they stampede.
*Always drink upstream from the herd.
*If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there with ya.
*Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
*Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
*You can’t tell how good a man or a watermelon is ’till they get thumped.
*Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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